Friday, 2 May 2014

Is that funny or frustrating?

Have you ever tried watching an English sitcom on mute in India? Even the most serious show becomes absolutely hilarious - thanks to the censored words replaced with something less offensive to suit the Indian sensibilities. Common words, used even the most harmlessly, get replaced, which makes for some very amusing reading. Imagine what our everyday conversations would be like if they got edited like that.

You go to your friend’s baby shower and you have the following conversation. Italicized words are substitutions of their ‘offensive’ versions-

You – ‘Hey sweetie! Congratulations to the mom to be! So, how you doing?’
Friend – ‘Great ya, if only I could sleep at night!’                     
You – ‘Oh crap! That’s too bad, but it will only get worse. All the best! So do you know if it’s a boy or girl?’
Friend – ‘Not at all! Don’t you know pre-natal ***-determination is banned in India? But it would have helped to know, I would have gotten the right clothes.’
You – ‘You know that harlot Neena got it done in the US when she went to stay with her brother.’
Friend – ‘But she had a normal delivery you know. It must have hurt like inferno’
You – ‘Can’t believe even a ***t like her could chestfeed her baby’
Friend - ‘Well, you never know, motherhood is a life changing experience’
You – ‘That calls for a toast!  Rears up!’

If that reads funny, imagine watching a curse – word loaded movie like ‘The Departed’. It is either hilariously substituted or frustratingly bleeped out. You can’t even ‘try’ to enjoy it. So watching a late night movie while others are sleeping will only turn out to be more of a headache than entertainment.

I wish the TV channels would do the subtitles more sensibly than mindlessly substituting words even where not required. That would definitely make TV watching more fun.

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