Spiritual But Not Religious

Today is a special day. I have decided to break habit and write about a subject that makes me extremely uncomfortable. Uncomfortable for two reasons, a) it is a deeply intimate and personal topic for me, and b) it has been the cause of the greatest friction between me and those I love, and has often given me intense pain. My inability to identify myself with a single religion.

Now, this may not be a great deal for a lot of folks, but it was for me, and my conservative family. It has influenced every single choice that I have made in life, from what I’m going to eat to who I’m going to marry. And I didn’t even realise the extent of its impact until I decided to introspect, and find answers to all the open ‘whys’ in my life. It is perhaps, the one part of my identity, of my being, that I guard most fiercely, and would like to be known for.

  

People who know me closely, know that I am a rebel at heart. I cannot be told what I have to do or must do by force or coercion. I cannot be confined to a thought or belief. I will always question why… Sometimes it may come across as offensive, but in essence, I’m only protecting my dignity as an individual, and of those who are unable to speak up for themselves. For instance, I find it extremely insulting to be stereotyped based on my gender, religion, social status, or ethnicity, and downright atrocious to be told a ‘no’ for any of these reasons. Who are you to tell me that I do not have a right to education because I was born a girl? How can you dictate to me who I am allowed to love or not? How dare you question my right to dream, just because I am married?

My being calls for freedom, for dignity, for love. For the limitless possibilities, and the abundance that I feel I can receive…

Religion, for my being, was a very limiting experience. And religion, when mixed with superstition, was just not acceptable. My early attempts ( which began at a very young age, unfortunately) to reject the idea of religion were seen as an act of rebellion. A reason for conflict. My father thought that it was extremely ‘un-girly’ for me to be a person who spoke her mind. To reject authority. To not want to offer prayers in a public forum. I was the quintessential black sheep.

And I tried to make up for it by being nice and accepting of their religious ways. By reading scripture, by following rules. It helped greatly that I was excelling academically, and always gave my parents reason to be proud of.

But I could never fully embrace organised religion, or the rituals associated with it. For a long time, I thought I was an atheist. Gradually, I began to think of myself as an agnostic. But then, as life happened, I found it increasingly difficult to reject the notion that a higher power exists. A period of loss, suffering and personal turmoil led me to the concept of destiny, and that not every battle can be fought or won. Sometimes, you have to accept fate, or sadly, defeat.

It was during this time, that I clamoured for faith. And faith, to me, came in the form of scripture. It was not in idols, or in people, or in things, or buildings. Faith was word. Word was faith. Anyone who has dived deep into the poetry from the Bhakti movement will identify with what I mean with ‘Word was Faith’. There is something powerful, magical, transcendental about it. It shows us how faith is not a religion, but a way of life. Faith is not limiting. Faith is all embracing, all loving. It makes us embrace all living beings, with no regard to the boundaries that us humans have created. Every religion is my religion, and yet I do not attach to any religion.

The great advantage that I had was that all of the Sikh scripture - Gurbani (Word of the Guru) - was written by the Saints of the Bhakti movement. It contains the poetry of not just the Sikh Gurus, but also of other saints, such as Kabir ji, Namdev ji, Farid ji, Ravidas ji, and Hindu Saraswat Brahmins who identified themselves as the Bhatts (you can find a detailed list here). It is perhaps the most secular and scientific scripture that I am aware of. It grants equal status to people of all castes and genders. It preaches love, justice, honesty, and wisdom. In fact, it was not until Guru Gobind Singh ji created the Khalsa, did Sikhs identify themselves as people of a different religious affiliation. He wrote down the ‘Rehat Maryada’, the official code of conduct that practising Sikhs follow throughout the world.

Perhaps I am lucky. Whenever I am facing a dilemma, I can turn to Gurbani, and find an answer to questions that consume me. It has been instrumental in my spiritual journey, without limiting me to organised religion.

Here are some things that my identification as ‘Spiritual But Not Religious’ has empowered me with:

·      Love: Love that embraces all living beings. Love that transcends artificial barriers of caste, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, everything…

·      Freedom: Freedom to be, and freedom to let people be.

·      Vegetarianism: I am a vegetarian by choice because no matter how hard I try, I cannot convince myself that I should have to kill a living being for my taste (not hunger). Well of course, I will still be eating plant produce, but I don’t have to kill an entire plant to enjoy its fruits.

·      Feminism: Staunch feminist. You will see me rooting for gender equality and always finding a path that is beneficial to all the genders.

·      Scientific method: The insatiable hunger to know ‘why’. To experiment, to hypothesise, to find solutions.

·      Fairness: I truly, strongly believe in playing fair. In levelling the play field by taking care of each one’s special needs.

·      Justice: Outspoken human rights advocate, and will go an extra mile in matters that seek social justice.

·      Faith: The knowledge that there is a higher power looking after us. At the end of the day, I can just leave my worries in the hands of that higher power.

·      Acceptance and gratitude: Gratitude in accepting that I have so much. Of the bountiful blessings. In knowing that I have more than so many do.

·      Detachment: Many people mistake love for attachment. But you can be immensely in love without being attached. My attachments are my weaknesses. But love, without being attached, that is my strength. That is my resilience.

·      Word: Word is Faith. Faith is Word.

Well, I guess, this has been a long, tiring read. It is my formal declaration to the world, of my rejection of religion, and endorsement of spirituality. I leave this here, with the lines from one of my favourite shabads of my favourite saint, Kabir ji-

ਪਾਤੀ ਤੋਰੈ ਮਾਲਿਨੀ ਪਾਤੀ ਪਾਤੀ ਜੀਉ ॥

Paathee Thorai Maalinee Paathee Paathee Jeeo || 

You tear off the leaves, O gardener, but in each and every leaf, there is life. 

ਜਿਸੁ ਪਾਹਨ ਕਉ ਪਾਤੀ ਤੋਰੈ ਸੋ ਪਾਹਨ ਨਿਰਜੀਉ ॥੧॥ 

Jis Paahan Ko Paathee Thorai So Paahan Nirajeeo ||1|| 

That stone idol, for which you tear off those leaves - that stone idol is lifeless. ||1||

  

ਭੂਲੀ ਮਾਲਨੀ ਹੈ ਏਉ ॥ 

Bhoolee Maalanee Hai Eaeo || 

In this, you are mistaken, O gardener.

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